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April 5, 2012

A Dead Cat, no Bike Lane and a Blabbermouth in a Caddy

by flykitesports

This is embarrassing but it took a dead cat, no bike lane, a blabber mouth on a cell phone while driving and my dog getting hit by the blabber mouth to get me out of a small blog slump.   I think I just heard you gasp when I mentioned that my dog got hit by a blabber mouth, not to worry she is fine, this is the wonder dog after all, who got punted 20 feet by a grizzly bear last summer and acted like it was just another day at the office, no squealing, no injuries and no hang ups.

I am a bit odd or eccentric when it comes to certain things; one is saving fuel.  This may sound ironic to you, as I am a kiteboarder in Montana, which equates to driving a lot and consuming a lot of fuel, but I guess I try to make up for it around town by riding my bike.  Last fall I purchased a small utility trailer for my bike so I could grocery shop and run errands via the bike.  The bigger the haul, in the trailer, the more smug and pompous I get, it is wonderful for my ego and my urge to be righteous. 

Like most arrogant dog owners I believe I am a dog training genius and I have removed all urges and freewill from my compliant mutt.  OK, so I know this is not true by the way my dog’s brains fall out onto the ground and she gets a super speed chasing juice every time she sees a cat. All the same she is a very good and well-trained dog.  I have trained her to respond to hand signals, to run on the sidewalk while I peddle in the street and to stop at corners.  So while I am getting my fuel saving geek on I also exercise the dog.

Today I went to Home Depot for 2 bags of garden mulch and a then to Costco for some groceries.  On the way home there is a short ½ mile section of road that doesn’t have a bike lane, sidewalk or shoulder, it is not a very busy stretch but it is still nerve racking.  When returning home Lulu, the dog, was healing like the champ she is  above the curb, in the wheat stubble, when she suddenly quickened her pace.  10 feet ahead of me she paused and sniffed something on the ground.  As I peddled past I still couldn’t understand what had her having the doggie equivalent to an orgasm.  She was throwing herself to the ground for an incredible bliss filled roll and wiggle.  As I passed her I called her to attention and she began to roll to a stand, as she did this she slipped her hips off the curb into the gutter.  This is where the Cadillac driving, bleached haired, over-done, blabbermouth comes into play.  This lady wasn’t even paying attention she must have been solving the national debt crisis because she didn’t notice that she biffed the dog and nearly biffed me as she drove by.  It was a good thing the dog was high on whatever she was rolling in because she bounced right up looked over her shoulder at the departing Caddy and started to thinking about giving whatever was on the ground another roll.

With my interest peeked I parked my bike in the wheat stubble and walked back to the  ‘doggie drug” to see what was so good.  What I found was both kinda funny and also very sad.  Lying dead, in the shin high stubble, was a decomposing black cat.  My dog had decided rolling in such a foul and morbid mess was way better than chasing the world second fastest animal.  Sadly the cat had a small red collar and a tag but it was far too mushy for me to even consider getting it off for identification.    Clearly this poor cat had been hit in the same spot as Lulu and bumped off the road and I am imagining by some over pampered housewife driving a white Cadillac SUV.

Today I have decided to be more opinionated on several things.  I want our town to become more bike friendly; we need bike lanes and trails linking the neighborhoods and a major commercial corridor.  Our trail group has done an amazing job of creating trails but it know time for the city to step up and finish several critical stretches of road/street and connect the bike lanes.

I also think talking on a cell phone while driving is plane dumb.  Or town has a cell phone ban and I would love for our local coppers to enforcing this ban, I think the caddy driving blond bimbo would be a good place to start.

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