Lightweight Ramblings -An ode to Sewer Cop
This past week I ran into a friend that just so happens to be a renegade writing hero of mine. For the purpose of this blog post I will call him by his renegade pen name: Sewer Cop. Back in the nineties Sewer Cop had a regular weekly article in our small circulation newspaper titled “The Adventures of Sewer Cop.” This weekly article was made up of the shenanigans of fictional archetypes that resembled infamous community members so much that on any given week half the community was smoking mad while the other half laughed their hineys off. Sewer Cop is a master of satire and made an uncomfortable sewer and water dilemma the axis of how our world turned. When I think back to the Sewer Cop days, this guy was so ahead of his time and so lucky, he got real ink and paper to blog on, how cool is that?
So anyway, Sewer Cop has been reading this blog. He told me he liked several of the post but the blog was a “little light-weight” before he exited stage left.
At this moment you are free to imagine me having my stupid “will you please approve of me grin” wiped clean off my face and the sound of a record needle scratching across a record that was previously playing Aaron Copland’s “Spring”.
“Lightweight!? Of course it is lightweight, it is a blog about a frivolous, self-absorbing sport that cost thousands of dollars and a certain level of insanity to get into, especially in Montana, for crying out loud.” Also: “I have friends that I really want to still be my friends, why on God’s green earth would I want to write down some of the black, diabolical dribble that runs thru my head?” These where the knee jerk internal responses, that whirred across my incensed frontal lobe at that moment, how in the heck am I suppose to be less than “light-weight” and write about kiting? Please help me if you have any suggestions on this point, by the way.
Later, however, I had a good laugh when I thought about some of the dribble I have said or written (not in this blog) and how it has, or would go over on either a blog post or in social situations. For example, I once responded to an acquaintance’s frivolous remark on the Spanish Inquisition with the following: “ You realize, I am sure (I was actually quite certain that person didn’t realize) that the French Inquisition was probably more brutal and more devastating than the Spanish Inquisition. The Spanish Inquisition is more noted and remembered because of some of the world changing decisions made during it, say like: Isabella sending her man Christopher off to find a “passage to the Orient.”
At this point I think you are getting the picture of what I am capable of and I would like you to imagine the glazed look of the person on the other end of this exchange and understand why I have never been invited back to party with them.
I have even committed social suicide by entrapping someone. In one incident I was so tired of another person being a know-it-all that really knew-very-little that I lead them down a proverbial path of breadcrumbs to my candy house of “you dumb shit”. Fortunately all the witnesses were either 3 sheets to the wind or had no idea what had transpired so only the know-it-all knew what had hit them. Unfortunately, the know-it all hasn’t forgiven me and I have not been invited back to party with them either.
When I am at a the mountain, plain, lake, ocean or river drinking a beer with other kiters I have held my tongue and not said something “un-light” like:” Another way to sum up the great dichotomy of our modern reality is the “American Conservative”; on one hand there is the inclination to impose overbearing moral beliefs upon “the people” and their personal liberties while on the other hand decrying the regulation of people and entities that control a majority of land, property, and capital. Ironically you can apply this same summary to the Roman Catholic Church, in Europe, in the millennium previous to this one. With that being said, I kind of remember learning that more than one religious sect immigrated to this country for religious freedom and we fought a war of independence against the monarchy of King George the 3rd
for self governance, fair taxation, religious freedom, and the ability of self determination. It is a winding road to balance these concepts and I wish all of the candidates, congress, religious groups, lobbyists, business, media, etc., were doing a better job it.” Indeed these are the things that go thru my head and I have on occasion enjoyed the look of horror or profound surprise when something like this spontaneously erupts from my mouth.
Containing all of this can be stressful, I have work hard to cultivate the persona of the mindless ha-ha girl as it is so much easier living with the label of that archetype than enduring the looks of confusion or disgust I would get for living in the ether of geo-political mash-ups and intellectual mind slams. Imagine me trying to explain, to another kiter, that I ran over their lines or I hooked up my chicken loop wrong because I was distracted thinking about “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”, Existentialism and how I could relate it to both Karl Jung and Emanuel Kant. For Pete’s sake, really!
It is also hard for me to reconcile, to biased individuals, the fact that I love being an athlete but I also have thought about things that should be beyond my grasp intellectually. How do I explain that when I am on an all day mountain bike ride I often recite poetry to myself or do complicated math problems involving the ratio of efficiency to speed of each individual on the ride?
So as an Ode to Sewer Cop I pledge to get my nerve up and blog a satire, at some point in the future, about the kite scene but for now I will remain “light-weight” until I get fired up about something heavy-weight. Thank you Sewer Cop for getting me thinking about the nature of my little blog!